so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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