There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I just had sex on a roof
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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