I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
