Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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