At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
