Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
