So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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