I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Your mouth is God's brothel.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
