Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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