Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize