My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
