Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
no. you can't hotbox the world.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
We smell like vodka and hangover
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
