we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
