Whod you bang
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
