...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
