Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
