Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Randomize
