doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
