TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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