I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
