I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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