Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
