why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
