I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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