She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
