When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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