Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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