I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
