so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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