I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
