Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
