somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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