im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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