You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
