Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
false alarm, still single
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
