She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
