I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
