I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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