just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
