OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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