so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
