I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Panties = found
Randomize
