haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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