And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
