sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I want her autograph on my taint
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
