He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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