I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
so explain again why im purple
no
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
