Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
