Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
