I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
