Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
We just shotgunned beers for America
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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