SEEEEXXX PLEASE
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
