there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
we're making bets on your personal life
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
