why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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