people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
