Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
